The rush of routine is enough to kill our body image; it steals time away from touching each other and appreciating the real lines of each other's bodies. It means that we don't have a lot of physical contact with our partners in general, so moving from 'Hi, honey, I'm home', to full-on nudity can be a shock to the system.
Bathing or showering together is a good way to unwind and touch each other without the demands on your confidence that full frontal sex demands. Bubbles are also a handy hideaway for those parts of you you'd rather keep hidden until he's too far in the throes of passion to care about a wobble or two. And remember, if you are that way inclined, a massage by candlelight - for you or him, in the bath or out - is also a brilliant gradual warm-up.
It's about getting used to your partner's touch and taking your time getting into the right frame of mind. Otherwise sex can quickly descend into a routine of: 'The kids are finally asleep - quick, let's get this over with so I can collapse in front of the TV.'
But if neither candlelight nor bathing together is your thing, why not cuddle up together in front of the TV? Turn the lights off; the blue light of the screen can also be very erotic and flattering when kissing and cuddling turns into something heavier. Or turn on some music, a favorite song of yours; dancing will help you unwind and get used to the closeness of him.
The right fit
We know his T-shirts are really, really comfortable, especially with your saggy leggings, but they may not be the most flattering things you could wear. That's not to say you can't be comfortable - there's some gorgeous, comfy lingerie out there that can help hide a few figure flaws if you choose carefully.
Babydoll tops camouflage the tummy area and still look very sexy. And luxurious robes and pretty kimonos are great cover-ups without compromising on glamour and sexiness.
If you have larger breasts, a good bra is a must, so choose something sexy and supportive, rather than something too skimpy or too sensible. (And as for that washed-out grey thing you wear the rest of the time... well, save it for those nights when he's away.) If you're scared your breasts look droopy, take off your bra when you're lying on your back, in which case your breasts will look great.
If you're not one for lace or frills, cotton boy-leg panties can also be fun. They work well for ladies with love handles, while still looking really sexy. If you are sensitive about your arms, why not try a chemise, or -negligee with sheer, floaty sleeve. And if those thighs are less than firm wear a short slip that ends just above the knees, with slits on the side which will give a glimpse of flesh without revealing too much. There really is a wide range of options out there for beautiful women of all sizes - you just need to set aside some time to go shopping.
Where to be
Without wanting you to dwell to much on it, you can - if you insist choose a position that is flattering to you; doing it doggie-style, for example, will make your waist look small and your bottom look really great while the good old-fashioned 'missionary' position lengthens your limbs and makes anyone's breasts look good. And spooning is also a great way to go - you get really close to your partner in a comfortable position that's flattering too.
Being on top is also a great confidence booster. Leave your bra on if you're iffy about your breasts, but otherwise it will allow you the space and time to dictate the pace and enjoy yourself. Keeping eye contact with your partner is a great way to make sure his eyes don't stray from your face, and if they do, then remember: feel good about yourself and your partner will pick up on that regardless of whether you're built for comfort or for speed.
And this is one area where we really can learn from the men in our lives - no matter how rotund the bellies or bums become; any suggestion of sex will have them whipping off their gear as fast as they can. Think about it - when last did you hear him say, 'Not tonight, babe. My thighs are too fat'?